Felt okay today. Any sexual urges I had were tossed aside as a joke. I’m not sure if this is the remnants of the previous days or if the slip on saturday really caused a mental shift.
In another experiment of mine I’m trying to approach more women. I find this is counter-productive to my reboot, and will not be doing that too much. You can read about that over here.
Coincidentally, I felt much less of an emotional tug when I passed up on talking to a beautiful woman today. I used to really get on myself about it but the stress on my ego wasn’t strong at all. I want to say it’s a libido thing, but that seems to be a cop out for rebooters who can’t find words for what they feel.
The brain fog is definitely still existant. My lack of presence and creativity is still apparent. I find it mind boggling that masturbation causes me to feel this way.
I think the most interesting thing is how unexplainable it really is.
When abstaining, I “feel” better. This brain “fog” is lifted. I feel more “centered” and “grounded.” I’m less “in my head.”
What the fuck does that stuff even mean? Do you have any idea?
The funny thing about feelings is that we really have no idea what they are. Read this for a humorous study proving that we tend to just bullshit about our feelings.